The law of having good times

I’m by no means an expert on having a good time, but looking back on the fun nights I’ve had, I’ve realized that they have a couple of elements in common.

Let’s have a look:

1. Drunkenness.
2. Making people drink an irresponsible amount via peer pressure:  ”Dude, don’t be a p*ssy!”
3. Making promises that will never be kept:  ”John!  I haven’t seen you since Mrs. Roberts’ class in 5th grade!  Man, we have to hang out sometime!”
4. Shameless petty theft:  ”Do you think anybody will notice if the bottle of Jim Beam is missing?”
5. Vomiting in unappreciated locations, i.e. your car’s back seat.
6. At some point, drunkenly rolling around on the ground.

The unfortunate part of the fun night is that it’s impossible to plan.  As an old Greek philosopher once said, “You can’t find good times; good times must find you.”

How right he was.

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This just in: Kanye West’s arrogance

Rapper Kanye West’s arrogance recently participated in a study that has revealed it to be second to none.

Bystanders report that after its participation in the study, West’s arrogance mounted its high horse, and rode off into the sunset. “I had to strain my neck just to see it,” one bystander recalls.

West’s arrogance was closely followed by that of Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, which vehemently disputed the credibility of the study, while making various pompous claims.

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